Flynn Fitzherbert
by who smiles
Summary: Flynn, Rider, and Eugene contemplate Rapunzel's boyfriend, and just who is he really? They can't agree on an answer.- Eugene/Rapunzel


**What's this? A Tangled fic? During NaNoWriMo? I must be procrastinating!**

**Yes, this is indeed my first Tangled fic...to be posted anyway. I've written a few...not that you care.**

**Review, please? **

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><p><strong><em>Flynn Fitzherbert <em>**

A lean man sporting a dark blue vest over khakis ran a hand through his lush hair, heaving a magnificent sigh. He raised his eyebrows at his reflection, let one side of his lips rise, and held the face for as long as he could, which, ironically, ended up being a few seconds. He sighed again, this time aggravated, and frowned deeply, studying his face as he did so.

"I," he said, lips pursed in a ridiculous duck face, "hate everything."

And he _did _hate everything; for Flynn/Eugene Rider/Fitzherbert was going through an identity crisis.

It took months of thinking, head-scratching, and sigh-heaving to agree with himself on the name 'Flynn Fitzherbert'. Half of his real name, half of his…other self and BAM and alliterative piece of manliness.

Except, not knowing who you were wasn't manly at all.

Flynn rested his elbows on the dresser—a very girly pink that he'd have to bother Blondie about later—and rubbed his temples.

Lost princesses weren't the only thing smolders didn't work on. The face of a 'Eugene' couldn't pull off the look.

The only thing that kept him from screaming out in rage was the sudden placement of soft hands on his shoulders—which made him scream out in terror. "Geez, Blondie," Flynn said, "you just gave me a heart attack!"

The Princess of Corona frowned. "Really? It sounded more like a stroke to me…"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. You're a riot."

She grinned broadly at him, which he had to admit made his insides turn to jelly, and mimicked his hunched over position. "So," she said amiably, "what'cha doing?" She yelped and corrected herself, "I mean, _what are _you doing?"

Flynn rolled his eyes, "Manners Tutor is finally getting through to you?" She nodded enthusiastically, and he didn't have the heart to make a jab at her for it.

_Smolder! Smolder now! _Rider instructed.

_Tell her she's doing fine! _Eugene countered.

_Or better yet; that she _looks _fi-i-ine!_

Flynn Fitzherbert gurgled and turned away quickly. "Don't you have a meeting to be in? It's evening. You're never free in the evenings."

Rapunzel shrugged. "The Ki—Dad said I could skip today," she said nonchalantly.

Flynn looked at her blankly. "He told you to come find me, didn't he?"

"Yep. He also told me to bring the Captain, but I insisted you weren't off stealing something." She threw her arms around his shoulders and exclaimed, "I was right!"

A pause followed. "Wait, you _aren't _stealing anything, right?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

Rider grinned cheekily and patted him on the back, whereas Eugene rolled his eyes in a completely annoyed fashion.

"_Eugene…"_

He winced (so did Rider) and shook his head. "Just kidding, Blondie. I swear on my satchel that I didn't steal anything."

_Atta boy_, Eugene congratulated him.

_Shut up_, Rider said politely.

Flynn blinked at Rapunzel, who had been trying to desperately to get his attention. "Sorry," he mumbled, "what'd you say?"

"You're acting strange," she repeated, looking concerned. "Strange doesn't really suit you. Odd or aloof, yeah, but not strange.

"Gee, thanks, Blondie," he said, and thankfully all three of him could agree on that. "I'm not acting strange, per se…just…" he searched his reflection for the right words. "…hungry! That's it, I'm hungry—no _starving."_

_You're pathetic_, Eugene sighed.

_Hey, this is gold! _Rider argued.

Flynn ignored the bickering and continued, despite Rapunzel's confused expression, "I haven't eaten all day, but I'm sure this is nothing a fruit tart or two won't fix…"

"Eugene?" Blondie said.

"Hmm?"

"What's _really _wrong?"

_Told you, _Eugene sang.

_I'm going to decapitate you, _Rider sang back.

Flynn gritted his teeth. "Nothing," he lied smoothly, ignoring Eugene's vehement protests. "Nothing's wrong."

"Then how come—er, why are you acting so strange?"

_Lie again_, Rider prodded him.

_Tell her the truth, _Eugene ordered.

"I'm not," he snapped. "So why don't you skedaddle off to a meeting and leave us—me alone!"

Rapunzel recoiled, mouth parting in shock. Her lip started to tremble.

_Look at what you did! She's going to cry! _Eugene sounded disappointed.

_Run before her Dad finds you!_

_Shut _up _Rider! _

Flynn twitched and reached out to grab the girl in a hug. "I didn't mean that," he said quickly.

_Tell her she has pretty eyes!_

_Don't listen to that pansy; make her want you!_

Rapunzel's hurt reaction disappeared instantly. "I knew it," she said accusingly, ignoring the confused grimace on Flynn's face. "You _never _say anything remotely unkind to me. Ever. There's something wrong with you." She leaned forward, accidentally giving him view of her cleavage, which he forced himself not to look at. Instead he met her eyes, but an unwelcome chill trickled down his spine and he instantly looked away.

_Wow, _Rider whistled, _she's hot when she tricks you._

Shut up, Flynn suggested.

Eugene blushed, _No, actually, he has a point._

Stop it, Flynn said.

_Why haven't you banged her yet?_

_They're not married! _Eugene said, aghast.

_And your point is…?_

"Shut up!" Flynn sudden yelled, gripping fistfuls of his hair. "For the love of God, shut up, both of you!"

_Flynn…_Rider sniffed. _That hurt._

_Hey, sorry buddy. _Eugene said kindly.

"See!" said Rapunzel, "That's so _strange_!"

Flynn stared at her blankly. He leaned forward, brown eyes begging, and asked, "What's my name?"

Rapunzel frowned. "Actually, this is a bit more then strange…"

"Just tell me, Blondie."

_Her name is Rapunzel, _Eugene corrected. _She's not even blonde anymore. Remember the whole 'we died' fiasco?_

_And your name is Eugene. That's why no one listens to you. _Rider's smiling face was met with Eugene's fist.

"Please," Flynn begged, wincing as 'Me' fought 'Myself'.

"Eugene," Rapunzel stated flatly, "have you been visiting the Snuggly Duckling?"

_Ha! _Eugene said.

_Whatever. I couldn't be tied down anyway, _Rider said with a nonchalant sniff.

_You love her though._

_Guess again, Fitzy. You and Casanova here are the commitment guys. I'm just here for the kisses._

Flynn sighed in relief and crashed against her lips, shuddering when she gasped in his mouth.

_You love her, _insisted Eugene.

…_So…so what if I do? Sue me. You do too. And so does the softy sloshing spit with her right about now. _Rider checked his imaginary watch. _By the way, Flynn, you and Sunshine could let go of each other anytime now._

Flynn hummed and Rapunzel giggled.

_Flynn? Pal?_

Eugene winked. _I don't think he goes by that anymore._

_What? You mean he dumped me?_

"E-Eugene, st-stop that!"

_He definitely dumped you._

_Smartass. _Rider ignored the superior grin Eugene gave him. _And if you say something about me being you, I'll punch myself in the balls just to see you wince._

_My lips are sealed._

Rider stretched and yawned. _Well, I'm off then. Take good care of us, okay?_

"Will do," Eugene mumbled into Rapunzel's neck.


End file.
